Rollercoaster ride of emotions

What a mixture of emotions (high and low) I’ve experienced on holiday so far.

Normally in the past you embrace your first experiences .. the first to explore the holiday home, first to jump on the bed (that’s the kids not the adults honest!), first to unpack, first to unwind and switch off from home and the first drink of the hols!

However when you are widowed it’s hard to cope with the firsts on holidays but when you have two children aged 9 and 7 you have to stay strong and put a brave face on most of the time!! You watch their smiling faces while they explore the holiday home all excited so young and so full of energy! 

This year has been full of firsts without Daddy … first
– stay in a hotel …. without daddy
– mother’s day
– first holiday
– first Father’s Day
– first bike ride without stablisers
– first end of school report

..the list is endless!

However the Summer Holidays seem to be worse… the reality hitting home yet again of my life without Nigel the person that knew me inside out!

The running helps but this last week has been hard as I have been unable to run alot … I need that me time when I switch off and think of nothing .. I enjoy the running ..even the bad ones as I know I’ve been out!

A long run is planned for tomorrow … may be 10 miles… but it will be long and slow. I feel the adrenalin begin to flow just thinking about getting on the road.

My next race is Saturday 16 August – my second 10k. It’s a smaller race which I’m looking forward too.

Fingers crossed for my run tomorrow.


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